Hasselhoff gets 90210 while celebrating cinco de mayo
In today’s society (and I do mean today) the headlines are mixed with Specter jumping parties switching from being a Republican to being a Democrat, Souter jumping ship completely heading out to pasture and China deciding anyone of Mexican decent needs to be put on a plane and well, airlifted back to Mexico. Is that the solution to the swine flu or as I liked to call it now (90210 STD). We switched the name to help pig farmers but how can we help Cinco de Mayo by shipping anyone Hispanic back to Mexico. Does this mean all holidays might be in trouble and Santa Clause will be forced to stay in the North Pole?
Maybe on St. Patrick’s Day it isn’t food coloring in the beer turning it green and we can ship all the Irish people home as well. I went out last Friday for lunch and had a burrito at a local Mexican restaurant and the place was barely happening. Are we really so sadly lost in life to think that isolating people in hotels and shipping ethnic groups back home can solve the spreading of (90210 STD). We live in a global community and with the overpopulation of the world we should just prepare for the inevitable. Life is ending as we know it…..or we could have a beer which leads me back to my original point before I got sidetracked.
In today’s society with all the major headlines do we really have to hear about David Hasselhoff on a drinking binge again? I mean please the best movie he ever did was Square Pants Sponge Bob. The guy never could act he just looked good in a swimsuit and now looks good well swimming in beer. If anyone should be depressed it should be Edwards. I mean his wife has cancer again, she has written a book, he was caught sticking his littlest finger in the cookie jar and to top it off he used campaign money to pay for his dates. This is the guy touted as the next best thing for politics as he paved the road for internet proliferation of propaganda enabling Obama’s run for presidency.
This stuff is too good for the movies. We should all watch it on a big screen (say the new Kindle 60 inch) but I think that is only for books. God forbid anyone would want to flip pages anymore. It is just too difficult. If Google has their way we won’t even have books at some point they will change the wording and we will have to refer to them as “Google Books”. Libraries will have to shut down and everyone will need to pay Google a fee to read “Huckleberry Finn”. Do we know if Google has plans to burn all previously distributed copies?
They way I see it we have two choices. We can either round up all the pigs in Egypt and exterminate them or we can round them all up and check them into the local Ritz Carlton, sorry Paris. Once they are there we can display the latest “Google Books” on a large screen Kindle and have Hasselhoff serve drinks? If this doesn’t solve our problems then as a last desperate attempt for a solution we could hire the Pakistani government to send a bunch of boys in with weapons and pretend to declare war on the pig farmers. My money is on the farmers, until Zardari pushes the button that is. Then we should all hunker down for a big plate of pork chops as we will be in some deep shit.
