Shopping with your Teenage Daughter
I have to admit to disliking shopping in general. When I walk into a mall it feels like the air is being sucked from my lungs and my energy level drops to near lethargic levels. It must be something about the stale artificial environment with the luminous lighting that lowers the level of energy to a point where you are near comatose. Is it possible that death will be nothing more than a visit to your local mall where you are inundated with loud obnoxious TV’s blaring some rap song about how this little girl was molested at 16 and had a baby? What in the hell is up with that? So as you can see shopping is not high on my priority list but having a teenage daughter and blessed with two additional daughters who are both younger, I am forced to shop now and will be shopping for a while to come.
My teenage daughter in a rare opportunity this week asked me if she could spend a little alone time with just her and I. Her two younger sisters are spending the week in the mountains and other than my girlfriend it was just the two of us. My girlfriend graciously bowed out of the adventure although she is in tune with the entire process and would have been much more adept at perusing the aisles than I was. We entered the mall specifically looking for jeans and to narrow down the selections further my daughter had requested Pac Sun specifically. Unfortunately the mall she chose didn’t have a Pac Sun (I had tried to tell her this) so she went from one store to another attempting to find something that caught her eye.
I can enter a store, buy 5 pair of jeans, go to lunch, catch a movie and step outside for a breath of fresh air all in the time it takes my daughter to even begin the process of trying something on. She as most women shop in some insane way that I will never in my lifetime begin to understand. Lucky for me I had brought some JournalStone magnets and at every register I strategically placed one for future viewing. How intelligent am I? Wait, I am seriously asking. How intelligent am I? Is that worthwhile or just a waste of my time. We managed to get through the evening and finally did purchase a pair of jeans. I was so happy she got at least one pair so the trip wouldn’t be considered unproductive.
I must admit that given the choice I would go shopping with my daughters every day if that was what it took to spend time with them. They grow up so quickly it is hard to believe at times they can turn into little devils. It was probably a bunch of teenage girls who dug up those graves in the historic burial site in Illinois. I think it makes sense. Why bury people with jewelry. Let’s dig them all up and sell the stuff. Is that illegal? In Iran and Iraq don’t they just did these big holes and dump masses in them anyway. It is easier if you keep all the chemicals in one big hole versus spreading it across the country. Most of them died by being mass sprayed anyway. Maybe they should think of that in China. It would be less mess on TV if people just collapsed. The government could blame Piglet Flue. Isn’t that still going around?
Just think what they will bury Michael Jackson with. Now that would be one grave worth digging up. Uh Oh, wait a minute. I think mommy Jackson who loved her son very much will still not want to part with money. Money does rule in the end. Well or maybe it is Jewish people who do. Don’t you love Israel? They just bomb the shit out of anyone they want and don’t really care about political fallout. Sarkozy is begging those damn religious fanatics not to blow up Iran but in the end Israel will do what it wants. I mean didn’t France beg Germany not to hurt it as well. French people do a lot of drinking and begging don’t they? The world might respect them a little more if they just stood on their own two feet and had a backbone.
Jesus wasn’t this blog about shopping. I ended up having a nice time. Got to bond with my daughter a little bit and we then went to see a movie. Can anyone guess what it was? Yes, the Transformers movie that I just wrote about. As with all blogs it wouldn’t be a blog without mentioning Megan Fox, Isabel Lucas and Emma Watson. It would have been such an easier transition if they would have just put Emma in the Transformers movie as well.
Whatever happened to Carrie Prejean by the way? Was she in Illinois digging lately? Is she Catholic?
Carrie Prejean should just not talk
Everyone has continued to ask me where my piece was on Carrie Prejean with her recent developments. I have emphatically told them that my piece is nowhere near Carrie Prejean but most people just don’t get the joke. So after the awkward silence I simply state I was trying to refrain from writing anything else since she has now annoyed me even beyond her good looks. I mean she does look great, I enjoyed the nude pictures, Don and I agree they were done in good taste but she just continues to talk and that detracts from the overall image. Isn’t there a rule where beauty pageant contestants are supposed to keep their mouths closed and only answer direct questions?
Hmmmm, wait a minute. She can’t even handle that responsibility well. OK, back to just standing there and not moving so we can all just enjoy her attractive looks, although isn’t the word for that necrophilia. I mean she might be attractive but she needs to have the ability to move or function or just maybe garble out a response. Well now I am stumped. What do you do with a beautiful woman that can’t function in society in any way other than standing there and looking pretty? Didn’t Vivid make an offer to her for a porn movie but even that requires her to well perform so to say.
How about in Amsterdam where they have the windows and she just poses in her lingerie or better yet topless. She could do that but……. Isn’t the idea that you eventually go inside and well there you go again? She would be required to do something. I am back to being stumped. I really want to help this poor girl. She has lost her job and in today’s environment it is not easy to find gainful employment. She is hot, has a brand new set of breasts, great hair, and beautiful face yet is almost unemployable.
Is there anyone out there with any ideas? I will be the first one to stand up and say let’s start a find a job for Carrie website. Resume could read:
Former Miss CA and Miss USA runner up.
Not that intelligent.
Really do not like gay people.
Not that nice of a person.
Christianity is my religion and if you are one of the people who disagree with me well then I think you will burn in hell.
Don’t mine taking my clothes off for pictures but still I am a Christian. (That is ok right?)
Have a great pair of new breasts. I mean the look really nice and they were free.
I am better than most people just because I look good.
Help me out people.
Let’s get her a job.
Carrie Prejean (Nude Pictures too many to count)
Do you like being a little freaked out? Do you like Cheerleaders? If you answer yes to both of these questions and you can handle a disturbing story click on the link to the right under PAGES “short stories” titled “Cheerleaders (Amber)” and hold on.
Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
IT’S OFFICIAL. SHE CAN KEEP HER JOB. YEAH, NOW WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO LIVING OUR LIVES. UNLESS YOU ARE OF THE GROUP THAT BELIEVES IN SAME SEX MARRIAGE AND THEN YOU CAN GO ON HATING HER. WAIT A MINUTE, LET’S NOT HATE ANYONE. LET HER HAVE HER OPINION BUT JUST NOT TALK ABOUT. I LIKE IT BETTER WHEN SHE JUST LIES THERE. WAIT A MINUTE THAT DIDN’T SOUND GOOD.
How much can the Don “MILK” her for? Get it hahahah. I kill myself.
Good luck today Carrie. If they ask you anything remember to just keep quite. No need to talk, it just gets you in trouble. Remember safe sex can’t get any safer than same sex. Wait a minute same sex, safe sex, that should be a slogan for somebody. Can anyone use that?
This will now become the vote for Carrie website. I say put her in office. She can’t speak, doesn’t make a lot of sense but looks a hell of a lot better than most politicians. Can she sing? We could try her on American Idol. Simon would vote for her hands down.
Hang in there Carrie or keep them hanging (silicone doesn’t hang does it?) or whatever it is that you do besides Mike. Hey another slogan I hear. Just do Mike? We could have her make her own shoe line.
If Carrie loses her job let’s try and find her a new one. Any ideas from the masses let me know.
OK, all about Carrie
This seems to be turning into the all Carrie blog so I really hope that it soon all ends. Please put me out of my misery. Do people really care if she gets “stripped” (I love saying that) of her crown or not. Trump is turning this into a real circus dragging it through the mud for as long as he possible can.
The CA Pageant has their press conference today and says what, she was a bad girl and we are mad but we will do whatever Don says. Well of course they will. Don pays all of their bills. So I guess one could say that Don paid for her breasts (literally). Haha, ok just thought that was funny again. Just don’t ask her to put her face on an Ipod and turn it into the form of Jesus Christ. Apple has said nono to that. Going too far. At least we know she won’t go into politics. Wouldn’t it be ironic if the porn star went into politics and Carrie went into porn? The world is going to hell.
She is as confused as Samuel Kent. Yes he did harass no he didn’t yes he did no…… Ok, well maybe he grabbed his secretary a few times on the butt. Is that really so bad. I guess so since he is off to prison for a while. Maybe there are rules in the work place. Hey, I have a question. If the Don did pay for Carrie’s breast does that make them his and mean he can grope her anytime he wants.
Stay tuned tomorrow and let’s see what happens. It is like watching a bad soap opera.
Carrie Prejean (Nude Picture Number 3)
Well, the pictures just keep coming.
Today is the news conference deciding her fate. What do you think should happen to Carrie for simply expressing her opinion? Are we really a society that will condemn somebody for standing up and stating what they believe. I believe in gay marriage for anyone out there that wants to get married. Should I be condemned for taking the opposite stand?
Give the lady a break. Yes she is out for publicity and yes she is not the smartest rock in the block but as I have said many times she looks great in all her pictures and she does look nice in a swimsuit.
My vote is still for the Vivid proposal. Take the million dollars and do the movie. Now that would be headlines.
I guess we will find out the fate of Carrie and her connection to CA this afternoon. Seems like the world will all be sitting by waiting for the news on whether she will or will not keep her crown.
Do we really have nothing else to do today?
Carrie Prejean (Nude Pictures) Part II
Are you kidding me.
Do you like being a little freaked out? Do you like Cheerleaders? If you answer yes to both of these questions and you can handle a disturbing story click on the link to the right under PAGES “short stories” titled “Cheerleaders (Amber)” and hold on.
Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
What is up with our obsession regarding Carrie and her limited view on a controversial topic? She has had her 15 minutes of fame can we now move on to the next brainless 100 pound beauty who gets caught with her shirt down. I mean we have had Rhianna and Cassie pictures and if you haven’t see those both of them are far more revealing than anything Carrie has taken. So what if she doesn’t believe in gay marriage. Who really cares what she believes in? I don’t and would you if she didn’t look so damn good in a swimsuit.
I mean it is mother’s day and all you can read in the headlines is about news conferences that will happen on Monday where she might possible get stripped of her crown. I like how they use the word “stripped”. Am I the only one who gets that pun? I mean come on; China is busy shooting up a bunch of citizens with testosterone and might have finally found a birth control method for men. Yes, you heard that right; it might not just be the woman’s responsibility anymore. OK, I went to far again. If I were a woman I would never trust a man with birth control. We are just not that smart and might say anything in the heat of the moment to seal the deal.
Even the Statue of Liberty is getting her crown renewed but apparently you should only walk up there at your own risk. They are saying it might not be safe. I wonder what views the statue would have on gay marriage. It is the statue of “Liberty” right. Is it liberty for only those heterosexuals who love each other or is it all inclusive. Again it is mother’s day so let’s give the benefit of the doubt. Mother’s love their kids no matter what their preferences. Just ask The Dick Cheney. His family openly welcomed their daughter’s friend into their lives they just didn’t want it being shown in public was all.
I for one who am against overpopulation applaud anything that gets us closer to the regression of copulation for the sole reason of furthering our race. Gay marriage, the morning after pill, Chinese shots, birth control let’s push it all. I still won’t give my views on abortion as I like to keep people guessing and I also in no way want to suggest gay marriage is a form of birth control even though that might have been inadvertently insinuated. Let people do what they want as long as they don’t try to inflict their beliefs on the masses. Diversity is what makes this country unique.
So I stand by my first article and say again for the record. Carrie looks hot in her underwear and I still love the new balloons up front that she was given. Let her be and give her the freedom to speak her opinion or better yet strip her of her crown and cut off all of her opportunities and maybe we will get to see her in that porn movie that Vivid threw out there. I have my morals and will always take the high road (well sometimes) but if somebody offered me $1,000,000 to do a porn movie I would go all in so to speak. I just don’t think anyone would ever want to see me on the big screen with my clothes off.
It would be interesting to see if Carrie would be up for the lesbian seen that is a requirement in all porn. I only know that because of rumors. I have no firsthand knowledge I swear. Really. Hey, I am being serious.
Carrie Prejean (Nude Pictures)
Are you kidding me.
Do you like being a little freaked out? Do you like Cheerleaders? If you answer yes to both of these questions and you can handle a disturbing story click on the link to the right under PAGES “short stories” titled “Cheerleaders (Amber)” and hold on.
Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
OK, this is a joke right. I don’t think I get it though. Carrie basically slams equal rights, touts herself being a Christian so that makes everything ok and she is allowed to retain her title. She takes a picture in her underwear (several years ago mind you) and she is suddenly in jeopardy of losing her job. This is nothing more than what is shown on the Victoria Secret commercials every time I flip the channel. This is what has the right wing conservative pool of authoritarian dictorial pageant officials in an uproar. I am not a Carrie fan but I must admit this is a little bizarre.
It isn’t like she got drunk and head butted somebody with her 24 hour TV show beating in the background. Only Kiefer is stupid enough to jeopardize going back to jail for something like that. At some point she might want to try a facelift so nobody can recognize her. She could be the two time’s a charm scenario or is it three. Well maybe she should wait. It isn’t like she has to be quarantined. I think we can all tell from her photo that she is a picture of health just don’t go to Mexico to have dinner or a movie. You can only sit at every other table and must keep a circle of seats around you at the theatre. Is that really our health preventative measure? Give me a 3 feet radius and I will be ok.
If I am going to dinner and a movie with Carrie I will want to sit closer than that. She might be against gay marriage but she seems very comfortable with inflatable breasts and walking around in her underwear. I personally don’t see anything wrong with either. The only thing more exciting that I saw today was the 360 degree rotation of the Kindle II. I would love to try and read a book while spinning the screen in circles. Do the words stay completely still as it rotates and if so how fast can you spin it? I am too excited to read right now as I am on the West Coast and I just now get to find out who is out on American Idol. How exciting.
I think they should dump the Ford commercials this week and instead start a “where’s the chicken campaign”. Is it chicken or beef that we are talking about. Who cares, if there is no meat then I don’t want any. Good news is we probably have plenty of pork. Nobody seems to be eating the little piglets right now. Maybe that is Carrie’s issue. She could strip naked and do a Kentucky Fried Pork Swine commercial.
OK, losing track. I have one request. Let’s tell Carrie to stop with the who is marrying who crap and continue to walk around in her underwear. Much more interesting. Leave her alone please. Underwear should be shown when it looks like that.
