Divorce OMG, I thought it was over?

The funny thing is, with kids the interaction with your ex wife never ends.  It just keeps going and going and going and going and what the hell?  Today was my day to pick up the kids.  I left at a little after 5 PM and headed over.  Normally the traffic is a little heavy on Fridays and God forbid I would be late.  So I cranked the radio up, turned on the air and pushed down on the gas.  Unfortunately I pushed down a little too hard and I got there about 30 minutes too early.  My ex was not there but the three girls were so I talked to them for a bit.  My little one wanted to show me her room.

I thought it was harmless but must admit I am always frightened to enter the ex’s house.  She scares the living shit out of me.  So I tentatively walked inside, took a peak at everyone’s room and then ran right back out.  I was excited for the girls.  The house is in complete disarray but they are just now moving in.  I think when it is finished it will work out great for them.  The location is also fantastic.  It is near the ocean a block away from my ex’s sister’s house and the cousins and close to school.  It is really a perfect location.  The neighborhood is flat as well.  An anomaly on the coast.  This will let the kids actually play outside.

I couldn’t help but think it was a great move.  Since my ex was not there we loaded up the car and seeing how it was still early I asked them if they would like to drive to the old house and say goodbye to their mom.  They all agreed so the oldest called her mom and told her the plan.  Holy Shit.  That is when hell became reality.  She started screaming through the phone how it was not 6 and our agreement was 6 and there was no way that I should be picking them up.  I responded by simply saying “Jesus Christ”, “Are you insane”.  I thought it was a legitimate question.

Just so I get the facts straight.  I was 20 minutes early, driving the kids to her so she could say goodbye and was saying sorry for traffic being light letting me arrive early.  That was still not enough.  Now she copied my attorney, is threatening to not sign the paperwork and is going to tell the judge I wrote in an e-mail that she is insane.  It is true on both parts.  I wrote it and she is coo coo.  I mean I was 20 minutes early for Christ sake.

My attorney wrote back and snickered at the entire exchange.  I think he gets a kick out of making money and getting to enjoy such an entertaining exchange at the same time.  It is like getting paid to watch crazy people make fools of themselves.

So in the end I drove the kids back to their new house.  She was still not there.  We parked on the street until the clock struck 6:03 and then we headed out.  She never did show up.  What the hell is wrong with her?  Is there something in the salt water that sucks the sanity out of all living people?

I now realize that no matter what, it will never be over.  I can only hope that next week I am not late by 10 minutes.  If she freaked out about me being early she might kill me for being late.  I mean seriously.  She might kill me.  I am scared shitless here people. 

I can’t be late. 

Ever. 

Please God help me never be late.

Please.

I of course can’t be early either.  ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh