Emma Watson is all Grown Up

“Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince” is coming soon to a theatre near you and from the trailer it seems that there will be a little more love injected into the series. Apparently a box of love-potion laced chocolates gets passed around the school and everyone starts heating up in the classrooms. Sounds like the making of a porno but alas no it is simply watching our little wizards grow up. Damn, now that sounds nasty again as well. Ok, let me try this one more time. As everyone begins to worry about Lord Voldemort’s return they start rubbing their wands and well….. Ok, I am apparently not good at keeping things appropriate so stop reading now.

What about Emma Watson speaking of appropriate. According to rumors she was enhanced on some publicity posters and seems to have bumped up her presence to attract the young male crowd. Wasn’t it not long ago when she was just a little girl running around zapping frogs and shit with her wand? Now she is a 19 year old young lady showing off her new found body for all to see. I guess it is normal. Have we all forgotten what college was like? Did anyone wear clothes back then? I guess the only difference with Emma is living her life in public and as the public has lots of eyes she is bound to be seen now and then doing a little mischievous activities. Anyone who was a kid has done the same or worse.

I was probably on the worse side so don’t throw stones at the glass unless you are standing far enough away that nobody can see you. Does anyone want to take bets on when the first Emma sex tape scandal will hit the airwaves? That seems to be the in thing in today’s up and coming crowd as they all go through it. I for one do not want to see myself having sex. There are some things that should just be kept off the screen.

Well, as with the world population I am excitedly awaiting the July 15th premier of Harry Potter. Only two more weeks away.

Please don’t hold me accountable for the authenticity of the pictures. I just found them.

Stop Smoking and Die

This seems to be the message that two anti smoking drugs are throwing at the public. Apparently Chantix and Zyban not only have the ability to help you quit smoking they also make you coo coo for coco puffs. This might lead you to off yourself as people who take these two popular drugs are showing an increase in suicides and or attempted suicides. While nobody can say for sure it is the drugs fault, the FDA has insisted that there be a warning saying that suicide might be a possibility if you take this drug. In a great statement the FDA stated that they in no way want patients to be scared away from taking these drugs. They just want you to watch out for any sort of wackiness if you are on them.

Maybe the FDA feels that in the end they win either way. If you stop smoking from taking the drug then the smoker ratio decreases and well if you jump off the Golden Gate Bridge then the smoker ratio decreases as well. Either way the drug has worked and you have stopped smoking so we all win right? Maybe they should put that right in the ad campaign. “Stop smoking or die or well stop smoking and die, either way our drug works.” Simple, to the point and it could be guaranteed. Let’s list some other campaign slogans that might be just as affective or at least appropriate.

Yemenia Airlines, “We get you to your destination or we don’t” “Swimming lessons are mandatory on our Airlines”.

How about Mississippi. “We are big, getting bigger and damn it we dont’ give a damn” 5th year in a row they have topped the obesity survey in the United States. That is a better run than Sanford has at banging Latin American chicks.

Sarah Palin running for office. “Postpartum Depression, I can outrun it and if I slip and fall well shit. What was the question again?”

Burmese Pythons living in Florida. “We eat rabbits, mice, rats and well two year old babies if you leave us alone”. What in the hell are parents thinking having a pet python in the same house as a baby. Everyone knows they eat little people right.

Jose Manuel Zelaya. “Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree if you still want me”

Shit, I could do this stuff all damn night but alas time does not permit.

Bottom line is you should take a Yemenian flight to Honduras while traveling with a snake and eating some Mississippi burgers while grabbing Sarah in the knockers. She is the sexiest republican politician I have heard. Odds are you won’t make it there alive and if you do be careful where you sleep. You might get a one way ticket out of the country.

Megan Fox battles Isabel Lucas (Naked is my vote)

How could anyone call themselves a blogger and not address the battle of the bionic megatronic Transformers beauties. They are saying that Isabel will take over the mantel from Megan as the new bombshell to elevate herself to stardom by looking unbelievably hot in the new robotic megahit. It would have been interesting to see if they left out the robots in the sequel how well it would have still done just by leaving in the Australian bombshell and her predecessor. Maybe they could have had them battle it out instead of using electronics and called it the saranformers. Wrap them both in saran wrap and drop them into some Jell-O and see who comes out on top (or bottom, either way).

Anna Kornikova could give them a few pointers in the fist a cuff realm as she apparently battled it out in a bar over the weekend. Some lady who was apparently drunk doused her and her assistant with a drink and they then decided to get physical. It is too bad that Anna didn’t show so much spark in her tennis game. Maybe if she had she might have won a tournament in her career. Is she still the most hyped celebrity player to have never won anything. Ok, I agree she looked so damn good in those little tennis skirts it didn’t matter. If you had your choice of the Williams sisters or Anna, who would you pick? I know my answer hands down. Even if they gave me both sisters at the same time. Still couldn’t sway my opinion.

Isn’t it nice to read about something other than Michael Jackson and his family’s battle over his riches? Megan versus Isabel in a battle to the….well not death but how about to the greasy, oily, muddy finish. The only thing really dying is Vibe magazine. Can anyone say bye bye. They should have run more articles on Mariah and Eminem. Are those two actually a couple? It seems you can’t read about one without reading about the other and is it me or is Mariah starting to look just like him. They say that couples start to look alike after they are together for a while but my God she is dressing like him and everything. Can you say freaky?

Just don’t get to physical or you might get pulled from the Bet awards show. Just ask Mr. Brown. Seems like he wasn’t invited to the party. Damn, all he did was smack around his lady a little bit. What is wrong with the world today? One of the few rules in life should be to never hit a woman. Unless she dress like Eminem and then all bets are off.

The only ones really going at it should be Megan and Isabel… Can anyone see Transformers III. Set in the middle of a muddy knee deep pond as the two go at it tearing each other’s clothes to shreds.

Sign me up for multiple viewings right now.