My First Time (For Real)

My friend Dirk Moron wrote a blog and he titled it “my first time”. He is a little slow I believe and although he wrote about his first time blogging and what the experience was like he had no idea what his title had people believing the blog was about. I was amazed at how many clicks the blog generated by just those three words. Let’s be serious are people really interested in a recanting of my first time and what the experience might have held. Well remember people you asked for it so here it goes.

My First Time.

My father owned a black Cadillac with grey leather seats. It was a two door and I have no idea what model it was but I remember the Cadillac designation. I was at the time dating a girl who was two years younger than myself (I was a junior I think) but she was vastly more experienced than I was at the time. I really had no clue as to what was going on. I wish I could say I remember her vividly and she still held a spot in my thoughts as the first person that I was hmmmmm with, but I can’t. If I am honest I can’t even remember her name. Now in my defense I have an issue with names. I one time saw this couple in Home Depot that I have known for several years and surprisingly my mind went blank and I had no idea who they were. Can you say too much of a good thing in my college years might have been detrimental to my mental capacity?

Anyway, I digress. I do remember certain aspects of my friend at the time. She had brown hair with a hint of reddishness to it. She had braces at the time (isn’t it interesting that I remember that) and she was tiny. I am guessing now but let’s estimate around 5 foot and possible 90 pounds. Keeping things in perspective I was probably five ten and possibly weighed in at a buck thirty. Wow, how skinny was I back then. I think my right leg must weigh that currently. OK, exaggerating again.

We were sitting in the parking lot outside of the roller rink (can’t remember the name) and I believe that we were supposed to be inside skating. I have three daughters now and believe me I will never let them go to a skating rink as long as I live. One thing led to another and uhuh, you get the idea. I wonder how many first time experiences actually happen in a car. As an adult when you think back on life it just takes some of the romance out of it, or maybe if we as adults were more spontaneous and took a few car trips now and then there might be substantially less divorces. Who can say but again I digress.

I know everyone is dying for details. Anyone who has read my writing knows that I can vividly describe activities leaving little to the imagination but alas I can’t say anymore than I have. While I can’t remember her name I will always remember her. It was a passage into manhood and a wonderful gift. My only worry as a father is hoping to god not to have to find out anything like this from my daughters. ahhhhhhh, Having three girls I get so scared to death at times. Please God save me now. Being a guy and knowing guys it just plain freaks me out, word. I keep adding in “word” now and then for a friend of mine who reads these and makes fun of my juvenile language, word.

OK, I am on a poll kick lately so let’s see if anyone is actually reading on a Sunday.

And as far as Mr. Dick (I mean Dirk) Moron goes. If you are going to write a blog then you really need to figure out how to make your content match the body. Not your body mind you. I have seen that and there is no title that I could place on that without feeling a little nauseous.